Monkeys, Camels, and Goats OH MY!

Hello;

This weekend his been a long one my friends;
Friday started out with going to a Hooka Bar with Ankit in a different town with the girls. Jersey sat this one out and was sorely disappointed. The girls ordered Pann Salsa, and Double Apple hooka flavors. For those of you who don’t know Hooka is a water pipe with ambers on top and flavored stuff that isnt cigarette tobacco and is totally legal. I didnt smoke of coarse but I did have a kingfisher beer and enjoyed it much. We sat outside, and there was a nice warm breeze rolling through the alley we were in. It was karaoke night, so there wasnt music where we were sitting, just the sound of people belting out Summer of 69 in Hindi accents. We got home around 12, and went to bed at 1am. The next morning we woke up at 4:30am to start our journey to Agra! Many many cows were on the side of the road, on the road, and on the medians. We had to pay road taxes on 3 separate occasions. At one toll people had monkeys on leashes even tho there were hundreds of wild ones walking around by themselves. The one man’s monkey jumped on our car with its baby. So I took a picture and they flash went off. FAIL. Instantly the yellow toothed man was up in my face tapping on the window. MAMM MAMM RUPIE RUPIE. I dropped my camera on the floor and was like why? I didnt take a picture. He started to escalate trying to rip open the doors walking around trying to see if any were unlocked. Thankfully our cab driver came and we pulled away, but not without him staring through the window giving me dirty looks. It ended up that I got two photos of "His" monkeys so suck on that asshole. We also saw a dancing monkey with lipstick and a dress on, this was very sad. We also saw tons of pigs digging through the garbage and running around together. They were cute but defiantly the definition of a pig. Our first stop was Fatehpur Sikri, where camel drawn carriages were in abundance. It was a cool place but all the tombs, and forts are starting to blend together. Red, Big, and Amazing. This one in particular was built by a man who wanted to spoil his three favorite wives *male chauvinist cough cough* One wife was Muslim, another Christian, and lastly a Jew. There were goats everywhere, and not normal goats, goats that look like mystical creatures. Kind of like an Avatar. We were famous there, everyone wanted their picture with us, two women tried to make me hold their babies and they all wanted to shake our hands. The kids there went up to Jennifer and were like " You from South Africa, South Africa?" We got a real kick out of that. When they found out we were Canadian and American they had four things to say over and over again. Michael Jackson was alive now dead, Michael Jordan, Obama, and hockey. They were charming and all way to young to be begging. When we arrived in Agra we went to our hotel. We sat and had lunch on the roof top where there was a pretty good view of the Taj Mahal, considering the hotel was 15$ a night. I sat there and enjoyed a Manjo Lassi (Yogurt, Mango, and Milk) The service was terrible and the waiter tried to rip us off. In our room the water taps were rusty, because for some reason it was salt water coming out of the taps. The door to the washroom door literally had to be dropped kicked shut, no a good hard shove would not do. After unwinding from a 5hr car ride and lunch for 15 mins we took off the Agra Fort. This was our first encounter with Lala the rickshaw driver, for lack of a better word he was bat shit crazy. Came up to about my shoulder and drove like a bat out of hell. He is by far the scariest ride ive ever been on. He let us all drive the rickshaw, which was fun but very scary! There were cows everywhere and traffic was horrible. When we got to the fort he said he would wait for us no charge. We ran around there for about 2hrs with ugly monkeys dangling from the roof tops. I find their pink bottoms, that looks like they have a wicked case of hemorrhoids offensive they should wear a diaper or something. The fort was built by a dude who then later was banished to it for 8 years by this own son. Talk about a ungrateful little turd of a son. After we were done there Lala took us to across the Yumana River for an amazing view of the Taj right when the sun was setting. In order to get to this spot we had to go on a one way bridge the opposite way and had to pay the police officer off to let us through. So that was fun, scary, and cry worthy all at the same time. When we were on the bridge all of us sat quietly anticipating our deaths as the chances of veering off the bridge to avoid on coming traffic were high. We would have been swept up in the chocolate colored river, and ether died of the raw sewage we were swimming in or the undertows. Sounds pleasant doesn’t it? We then went home and parted ways with Lala, or so we thought. When we got back in the room Jennifer informed us that Lala was trying to cop a feel the whole time, as she sat in the front bench with him. Then Carol Ann told us she as hungry and wanted some good ol Mc Donalds. So went outside, and there was faithful Lala waiting to take us somewhere new. I sat in the front with Molly this time, where Lala made the resting spot for his elbows on our boobs. We enjoyed our Mc’s and even got chocolate Sundays! Lala then drove us home in the pouring rain. The next morning we were up at 6:30 to go to the Taj Mahal. I had a horrible sleep as I was woken up with tummy cramps yet again, and the call for prayer blaring through our room at midnight on a outdoor overhead. The Taj was amazing. I don’t even really know what to say except that the photos don’t do it near justice. Its beauty was overwhelming and indescribable. I await going back to it when mother comes. Although it was raining/down pouring almost the whole time we were there, I was still in awe the whole time. Well kids its about that time…
Dotes